Time

Is anyone else’s summer flying by?  Our summer is busier than ever.  A big, gigantic blur of us scrambling to fit in all of our summer activities.

Even though I’m home with Lil’s 6 out of 7 days in the week, I feel like I don’t spend enough time with her. My appreciation and gratitude for her is growing at an uncontrollable rate. I want her with me, ALWAYS.

She patiently follows me around all day, mimicking my every move.  And I love it, I just can’t get enough of her.  My usually independent baby has been all cuddles lately. She seems to be more attached than ever.

Just like mama.

I was… and AM.. the same way with my parents.  Extremely attached.  More so than ever lately.  As they get older we seem to be switching roles.  I feel more responsible for them than ever.

Their super human powers are slowly being trumped by the aging process. It’s a tough pill to swallow. I forget that they are grandparents after all. It’s been a stressful couple of months.  It’s so easy to let the “what if” take over and for a moment it did. It also forced me to learn how to cope with things that I have no control over.

A lot of patience and a big dose of faith helped me through. There’s also that realization that the world is filled with very real problems, so much bigger than mine.

Its hard, almost impossible, not to let the weight of these happenings effect me.  Since becoming a mother, the impact of these events has been heavier than ever.  I start to feel guilty just enjoying my life away when there seems to be so much grief flooding the world.

The burden of it all has been so heavy that I allowed it to take me away from all of the wonderful things that are happening. The weight of the world will always be there. Allowing it to over power me won’t resolve a thing.  Definitely the things that I have no control over.

So instead I’ve made up my mind to focus on my blessings. To fill my spirit with positivity and joy so that I am able to share it, and spread it seems like a more productive way to cope.

To stay present and enjoy my time with my parents for as long as I have it. And to take in every bit of Lil’s childhood that’s passing by at the speed of light, just like this summer!  I can’t afford to let anything take me away from it any longer.

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