Most commonly asked question: How do you make motherhood look so easy?
It’s not something that comes natural to me. I spent most of my adult life absolutely certain that I wouldn’t have kids. It’s something that just happened and I rolled with it. Diaper explosions and baby vomits haven’t really found their way into my beauty and fashion photos, but trust me when I tell you they happen. They happened today. Several times actually. You guys don’t want to see that, do you? Great. Because that’s not something I want to share. Instead, I want to share how all the things that I do get done, get done.
- The kids lead, I follow. It’s not about me anymore and I am OK WITH THAT. My day goes a lot more productive when I don’t force things. I did that when I first had Aaliyana and I learned very quickly how pointless it was. It’s OK to let her eat her lunch in the stroller on our walk to our appointments. It’s also OK to spend an extra half hour at home soothing Zayden’s colic attack before I head out. These things don’t sabotage my day because they are expected. They are children. They cry and stuff. They also take twice as long to leave the house. There’s no point in getting frustrated over the inevitable.
- Nap time is where it all goes down. If I can calculate my entire day and all of my energy into making sure that both munchkins nap simultaneously (as they are right now while I type this post) then I am sure to have a productive day. No matter how badly I want to join them things have to get done RIGHT NOW. I guess at this point I know It’s now or never. I have a constant mental checklist of my tasks and as soon as I see the opportunity, I hop to it!
- Sleep is priority. My phone stays on charge in another room throughout the night so I’m not tempted to scroll my feed for hours in bed. It also forces me to get out of bed and walk to another room to turn my alarm off so I am able to start my day as planned. Baby Zayden wakes up to nurse a couple times in the night but I sleep while he’s latched on. Sleep is so awesome. Lils and I could sleep for 3 days straight if no one woke us up. But I do get woken up, and it’s usually by a tiny voice asking me for her morning bottle of milk. So as soon as their tiny eyelids lose their battle every evening, my eyes are shut!
- I constantly ask for help. Between social events, work events and deadlines, Mama needs HAAALP. When I was a new Mama I wanted to do it all on my own and I burned myself out very quickly. But Mama has learned. I have no shame in calling my sister-in-law, mother-in-law, aunts, uncles, grandparents, friends, siblings, neighbors, and parents to step in. Anybody… please, help. They all love spending time with the kids and my kids love the change. I’m human after all. I need my girls’ nights out, I need my alone time with my husband and I need to be around adults in my field at work events. I acknowledge that and I don’t supress it. If I am not taken care of, how will I take care of my babies?
- Down time is LIFE. In typical Mom behaviour, I can be really hard on myself. There are weeks where I don’t know if I’m coming or going and I still force myself to get it all done. Inevitably burning myself out. But what is the point to any of it if I’m not enjoying time with my children? They are going to be away at school 8 hours a day before I know it. So today I am going to sleep in and cuddle a little bit longer. I’m going to let the dirty dishes hang out in the sink, the dirty laundry pile up, and pretend that stain on the couch isn’t there. I’m going to throw my hair into a bun and slap on some mascara and gloss and head to the park. Nothing else is getting done today.
Things aren’t always as beautiful as my beauty posts. These photos are usually taken during the time of day I know the kids will have napped and eaten and are generally in good spirits. (And getting little Miss. Lils to pose isn’t rocket science.) I’ve also been playing dress up, braiding my hair and sneaking into my mom’s makeup since I was a little girl. It comes naturally and I am really fast at it. It took a lifetime to be able to apply my makeup and throw my hair together as quickly as I do. That’s why it gets done. The more you do it the faster you will get at it as well. You CAN find an entire 2 minutes in your day to throw on some mascara and gloss I promise. And when you master that, add some blush and highlight and go from there. You got this.
Not every day is going to go as planned. This is life. Accept it, move on, and roll with it.
I hope to highlight the positive parts of this whirlwind journey of Motherhood. May it inspire you, entertain you, or even help you appreciate the little things that we often overlook. This is a huge blessing and responsibility. It shouldn’t be taken lightly but let’s enjoy it and appreciate it in all of its hardships and glory.
The list of never ending chores will always be there. Our time with our kids won’t be. So, chill out and roll with it.
Don’t forget your mascara.